Me lil'mum came over yesterday to help me out of crisis mode. Thank the heavens above for fantastic moms!! Brayden's been sick and we have been confined to the house, we two. By the time Clay walks in the door I'm to the point of not even WANTING to go anywhere because I'm worn out. So she came and freed me up to zip to the grocery store and take Brooklyn the "snack bag" at school. And when I returned, we sat around awhile to chit chat about this & that.
We came upon the subject of walking.
And now I would like to know your opinion on the matter. When my mom was 5, she walked over 3 blocks alone to kindergarten. She reminded me that the world is a different place than when she was 5. To which I agreed.
But someties I would really like to disagree.
Like when Grandma Burns talks about how things were when her kids were little and they ran amuck in the fields until they just HAD to come in and get something to eat. I kind of love that idea of life & freedom & childhood.
So we moved somewhere that I feel we're able to do that more freely & that it is even encouraged and hoped for. And I like that. I agree with sending my children out as they age on foot, scooter, bike, skateboard, or pogo stick to get themselves where they'd like to go. Rather than me driving everywhere, for a myriad of reasons. It's healthier. It's more fun. It's good to be out in nature.
Is the world in fact a different place or is our perception different because of our age & life experience? Are we just more aware of crime & scary stuff or has there actually been an increase? Does it just feel that way because we're flooded with it in our daily lives now? Because, think about it, the internet shrinks the world. Television shrinks the world. We have an abundance of media and information now that puts Kentucky, and Washington, and Georgia right in our laps along with everything that is going on there. But perhaps if the only news we received was the news that affected our own little circle directly, we would feel that the world was the same place it was 50 years ago?
Or maybe we view the world differently because we're older and we understand what CAN happen and therefore do everything not to allow that opportunity to arise, thereby making the streets a less safe place because they are distrusted and deserted.
Feel free to let me know if none of this is making sense. I was just going over the quote in my mind from my sidebar this morning that says, "Your perception creates your reality, what you focus on becomes the world you create." And I wondered to myself what kind of world I am creating. What kind of world we as a general whole are creating with our perceptions of safety.
My mom and I both strongly agreed on a buddy system as being invaluable. My children would like to walk places that are 6 blocks away or so through the neighborhood. And I would like to let them (with a buddy.) Am I nuts?
Your thoughts?
We came upon the subject of walking.
And now I would like to know your opinion on the matter. When my mom was 5, she walked over 3 blocks alone to kindergarten. She reminded me that the world is a different place than when she was 5. To which I agreed.
But someties I would really like to disagree.
Like when Grandma Burns talks about how things were when her kids were little and they ran amuck in the fields until they just HAD to come in and get something to eat. I kind of love that idea of life & freedom & childhood.
So we moved somewhere that I feel we're able to do that more freely & that it is even encouraged and hoped for. And I like that. I agree with sending my children out as they age on foot, scooter, bike, skateboard, or pogo stick to get themselves where they'd like to go. Rather than me driving everywhere, for a myriad of reasons. It's healthier. It's more fun. It's good to be out in nature.
Is the world in fact a different place or is our perception different because of our age & life experience? Are we just more aware of crime & scary stuff or has there actually been an increase? Does it just feel that way because we're flooded with it in our daily lives now? Because, think about it, the internet shrinks the world. Television shrinks the world. We have an abundance of media and information now that puts Kentucky, and Washington, and Georgia right in our laps along with everything that is going on there. But perhaps if the only news we received was the news that affected our own little circle directly, we would feel that the world was the same place it was 50 years ago?
Or maybe we view the world differently because we're older and we understand what CAN happen and therefore do everything not to allow that opportunity to arise, thereby making the streets a less safe place because they are distrusted and deserted.
Feel free to let me know if none of this is making sense. I was just going over the quote in my mind from my sidebar this morning that says, "Your perception creates your reality, what you focus on becomes the world you create." And I wondered to myself what kind of world I am creating. What kind of world we as a general whole are creating with our perceptions of safety.
My mom and I both strongly agreed on a buddy system as being invaluable. My children would like to walk places that are 6 blocks away or so through the neighborhood. And I would like to let them (with a buddy.) Am I nuts?
Your thoughts?
11 comments:
Hmmm? I don't know? Even though I do have opinions on the matter I almost feel like I won't really know how I feel until my children are your age and it's actually something to deal with. I do think it depends on where you live, maybe at least somewhat. If Evie were older and we were still living in the avenues, I would say no. No way. There is too much traffic flowing through my street, someone could pull over and snatch her and be gone in a second. But I am scared of sleeping home alone, walking to my car after the gym in the dark, etc. I think you are more brave than I am.
I just published that and then heard my phone buzz from your comment on my blog. Haha!
Braver. Not more brave. Duh.
I let my kids walk a good half mile to school every day. (two of them together). There are kids in the school who walk even farther. I also make them play outside when friends come over even if it is cold. I think there is more crime these days, but even staying indoors all the time isn't going to save you from it. Another concern is who are your kids with? And what kind of influence do they have? Even kids from the greatest homes can influence your kids to do things they know they shouldn't. That seems to be more prevalent these days. Back when Grandma raised her kids, it was rare for kids to be entertained by media for hours and hours a day. They had to go outside to have fun.
This is incredible timing. I just sat down to read blogs and de-stress after FOUR policemen came to my house to check on my child in distress. Amelia refused to go to bed. Kept coming out of her room. I calmly locked her door. She started kicking her door like crazy. The rule in our house is that you have to leave the house if you are damaging it. So I calmly escorted her to the back porch, shut the door, and sat right next to it (it's glass) and told her to tell me when to start the two minute timer. She, understandably, cried for probably five minutes. There was a banging on my front door. A man was there telling me there was a baby outside. I thanked him and said I was with her. I told him I really appreciated him watching out for my kids in case there was a real problem.
Amelia calmed down, I started the two minute timer, she finished her time, came in and went quietly to bed. I was just settling in to reading in my bed when there was another LOUD banging at the door. I answered it and four policemen asked if they could come and check out my house. They asked a million questions and went into all the kids rooms, turned on their lights, and asked if they were okay. Ummm, It is 9:40 at night! Sleeping kids here! Grrr! Anyway, took down my name and birthdate and left after making comments about me having three kids by myself and how I must feel overwhelmed a lot.
Can a person not discipline their child?!?! It is 68 degrees outside right now! It is not like she's 2 and it's 40 degrees. Come on!
I also have questions about whether we as a society are getting over protective. I know there is danger, and I try really hard to make wise decisions, and yes, my kids use the buddy system, but I also long for more freedom and push it sometimes.
Oh my word Cheri! What the heck?! Did you explain the situation to them? Good glory blazes! I think I would be aggravated as well after just getting kids to sleep and after calmly making it through a meltdown. You're a guiding star to me on pushing it with kids on freedom. Thank you!
YES!! on the overprotectiveness! (spellcheck is telling me that's NOT a word. veto!) it's like the fact that we're TOO clean now and now we have SUPER...what are they called when antibiotics no longer work??? Somebody knows what I'm talking about....
Here's a little perspective: Growing up, we had a guy with a meth lab across the cul-de-sac, there was a double murder (with a machete) on the hill we often played on behind our house, our mom was almost kidnapped on the bike path, some crazy guys chased mom home after her car stalled and almost had a brawl with dad & the neighbors on the front lawn. Etc, etc.
And what were we doing almost every day of the year? Playing outside. Walking several blocks ALONE to grandma & grandpa's house, delivering newspapers, rarely with the kind of supervision now demanded of us as parents. And we felt (and were) completely safe. Is your neighborhood or mine, or any other around here worse than the one we grew up in? (And it wasn't a bad neighborhood!)
I think society has become way too over-protective, and we are doing ourselves and our children a disservice restricting them like we do. But I do it too. The question I force myself to ask is "If I think they are too young now, when will they be old enough?" 10? 12? 15? 18? We have to force ourselves to cut the cord (in a responsible way) and trust our kids to make wise choices.
-Spencer
Good good point Spence.
I've been torn after reading the original post and the subsequent comments. It's hard to sort out what is perception and what is truly reality. Tonight we went out to eat with some friends who are both in the school system and the husband is a social worker/counselor. During dinner I brought this topic up and asked for their opinion and observation since neither of them are "the sky is falling" kind of people. Both were adamant, based upon observing firsthand behavior, heartache and tragedy over the span of 30 years, that we live in a different world. It has gotten increasingly worse and the perpetrators are dramatically more desensitized. Food for thought since this is through the eyes of two who are in the trenches versus somebody forming an opinion after watching the nightly news. For what it's worth:
- Follow the spirit
- The adage "Better safe than sorry" warrants consideration.
- What is the potential cost/benefit of either side of the argument?
Love - Dad
I think I need to meet your dad!!! Maybe I'm an older soul that finds comfort in his words of wisdom. I live and die by "Better safe than sorry". I'm a worrier. Which is not to be confused with a fun hater...which Brandon sometimes calls me. If I have control over a situation and it is deemed safer to have me haul all the kids in the car just to drive one the next street over to play...I'd do it 20 times a day. I have this fear that the time I would let her go alone, would be THE time something would happen. I simply couldn't live with that. So, some fear...when it comes to my children whom I couldn't possibly live without, does control my life. I just can't help it. Mother's intuition does exist and to each their own. No mother should feel judged for a decision regarding their precious little people.... So I guess I'm saying you will know what works best for your family. The buddy system is fabulous! And I love that you are living in an area that you feel so secure in. I LOVE my neighborhood and hope to never leave, but personally, I can't leave another's poor choice up to chance. Love that you opened up this question! Miss you!!!
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