We watched The Vow last weekend & the guy in it says something along the lines of this & it keeps going through my head.
"The truth is we're the sum of all the moments we've experienced with all the people we've ever known... and these moments become our history."
I've been thinking about key moments in my life that changed things or how I viewed things or what I did next.
Clay had some friends over tonight. I was put on bedtime duty, the kids went down great & I took off for a bit and got a piece of cheesecake with my Mary. I love her. And then I came back home and Clay was still at it, playing games with a handful of guys in my kitchen, listening to their loud music and talking about work and strategy and laughing.
So now I'm lying in bed, watching Marley & Me. They came to the part where they found out she miscarried. The look in her eyes is perfect to describe the way you feel when you go through that moment. I've done that twice. But the moment I thought about was when I was 6 months along with my little Brayden. I went into the doctor and was laughing really hard with him. Then we decided to listen to the heartbeat. He couldn't find it right away. I'd done that moment before. I'd seen that look before. That focus on the doctor's part where they're no longer thinking about their conversation with you. There's hesitancy and instant tension in the room. Because it's taken a little too long to find the heartbeat. And I think my own heart stopped for a moment.
And he grabbed my hand.
Because he was nervous for me. Because Clay wasn't there. I don't even know if doctor's are supposed to do that.
And he squeezed my hand like he needed to say something, but didn't want to say it.
And then we heard it. That heartbeat that meant my baby was okay. That meant we could start laughing again and that I wasn't going to leave crying.
I don't know why that moment comes to me over and over. It probably took a total of 15 seconds or something insignificant like that. But that little grabbing of my hand, like he needed it as much as I did, was a big deal to me.
"The truth is we're the sum of all the moments we've experienced with all the people we've ever known... and these moments become our history."
I've been thinking about key moments in my life that changed things or how I viewed things or what I did next.
Clay had some friends over tonight. I was put on bedtime duty, the kids went down great & I took off for a bit and got a piece of cheesecake with my Mary. I love her. And then I came back home and Clay was still at it, playing games with a handful of guys in my kitchen, listening to their loud music and talking about work and strategy and laughing.
So now I'm lying in bed, watching Marley & Me. They came to the part where they found out she miscarried. The look in her eyes is perfect to describe the way you feel when you go through that moment. I've done that twice. But the moment I thought about was when I was 6 months along with my little Brayden. I went into the doctor and was laughing really hard with him. Then we decided to listen to the heartbeat. He couldn't find it right away. I'd done that moment before. I'd seen that look before. That focus on the doctor's part where they're no longer thinking about their conversation with you. There's hesitancy and instant tension in the room. Because it's taken a little too long to find the heartbeat. And I think my own heart stopped for a moment.
And he grabbed my hand.
Because he was nervous for me. Because Clay wasn't there. I don't even know if doctor's are supposed to do that.
And he squeezed my hand like he needed to say something, but didn't want to say it.
And then we heard it. That heartbeat that meant my baby was okay. That meant we could start laughing again and that I wasn't going to leave crying.
I don't know why that moment comes to me over and over. It probably took a total of 15 seconds or something insignificant like that. But that little grabbing of my hand, like he needed it as much as I did, was a big deal to me.
6 comments:
Mom and I just read your post. You made us cry.
Nothing more powerful than connecting with another human being. There is a book that talks about how a "shared crisis" are those moments that bring people closer than anything else. Yet we are always hoping to avoid them. We can't experience joy unless we know pain.
Thank you for sharing your gift of expression. Love, dad
Oh. I am so glad the Brayden made it. What an awful and then wonderful moment. Gosh, the shrimp really gave you a run for your money that 9 months huh?
ps the word verifications on here are hard.
Blast. It's Amy, not Brandon.
Blast. Another word verification.
SO tender!
A big deal,indeed. I hate that moment before you know everything is still okay. I've been thinking about the movie lots too. I want to see it again! With you!
Ditto! I need to get a closer look at the shunned girl's face when she's dismissed! Hahahahaha!
Post a Comment